Sometimes before a remote mentoring session starts on Zoom or other video conferencing app, Fran Haasch, founding attorney at the Fran Haasch Law Group, will just idly chit chat and share random thoughts with her mentee. Sometimes, if she just doesn’t have a clue about what to say, she’ll try some team-building exercises that work online. She’ll even go so far as to set up casual Zoom lunches where she shares a meal and is able to talk about both work and non-work events in a more relaxed way.
Haasch isn’t being random about any of these ad hoc communications. No, instead she has a very specific goal in mind, which is to build trust with the mentee.
“Mentoring is a personal business,” Haasch says. “And it needs to be so: mentor and mentee have to build a bond of trust, in order for the knowledge imparted to have any effect.”
Unfortunately for many, the idea of virtual mentoring feels counterintuitive or lacking in some way, precisely because they can’t see how this bond of trust can be established without the mentor’s physical presence in the mentee’s work life, she continues. “Arguably, the face-to-face time between a mentor and a mentee is the best way to read social cues and see how the other person is reacting to what you’re saying. But in remote mentoring, the only substitute for that is video conferencing apps like Zoom or Skype, which can contribute to already existing screen fatigue.”
Don’t despair, though, Haasch concludes. “It’s absolutely possible to mentor people online, on a team and individual level, on an official and unofficial basis.”
Just about every source interviewed for this article agreed with Haasch. It is possible to build rapport with a remote employee and a rich, engaging one to boot.
It’s a different reality
The trick, they say, is to recognize that online relationship building is different from in-person communication and to accommodate for those differences appropriately.
For instance, the limitations of online communications mean that building a mentor-mentee relationship will just take longer, says Mark Pierce, CEO of Cloud Peak Law Group. Because communication is limited to video calls, phone calls, or instant messaging, it can make it harder to read body language, he said. Also, “because you’re limited to a screen, remote mentoring is sometimes more formal than in-person which can create a barrier to rapport-building.” So give it more time for a relationship to build, he advises.
While the use of technology may seem limiting to some, for others it provides an avenue for career growth that otherwise might not have been possible. Technology today enables any worker to find a mentor to reach out to in hopes of establishing a valuable relationship.
Have a plan
The key to its effective use is to meet regularly and have a set agenda.
“I believe these relationships can absolutely work just as managing a distributed workforce can as well. The key is being very intentional with the time you have together,” Jennifer Staciokas, executive managing director, property management, Western Wealth Communities says.
Staciokas said she has mentored several people from a “distance” (both pre and during COVID-19) and she said it is important to set a topic for each meeting to keep efforts focused.
“That allowed me to do some research and preparation for our discussion and allowed my mentee to come to the meeting with specific challenges they are facing and how we could talk through and brainstorm ways to approach,” she says. “I highly recommend using Microsoft Teams/Zoom etc. and go on camera to see body language and allow for a deeper connection.”
Israel Carunungan, senior vice president of marketing, LCP360, has been working remotely for more than 10 years and has been a mentor throughout. He was able to manage these relationships by holding a regular spot on the mentee’s calendar and keeping his virtual door open.
“Mentorship is about teaching and leadership, so while you may lose a little bit of that without the in-person dynamic, I never felt I am less of a mentor to my team because I’m remote,” he says.
“The key is having regular communications, including recurring meetings set in our calendars, and always being available. We also have messaging and collaboration channels like Slack that we use all the time.
It is important for both the mentor and mentee to set goals on what they want to accomplish, he says, as well as establishing a plan on how the mentee can get the most out of the mentorship. “Regular on-going communications through virtual meetings and messaging chan-nels are essential. We also do a lot of screen-sharing to collaborate.”
A new way of thinking
Both mentees and mentors will have to change their thinking about these relationships as remote work becomes pervasive and permanent, says Doug Ressler, business manager, Yardi’s CommercialEdge.
“Many individuals incorrectly presume that physical proximity is essential in developmental relationships,” he says.
“But like work itself, mentoring is defined less by the medium in which it is accomplished than by the outcomes delivered. Commitment, trust, relationship quality, and mentor competence are the real ingredients of developmental growth, all of which can be applied to virtual mentorship.”
Mentees will also have to rethink where they find their mentors now that the world’s business network is at their disposal, says Gilles Raymond, the CEO and founder of Letsmeet.
“The choice of remote mentors is no longer limited to your district or city and therefore you can work with the best mentor of the moment, on the selected subject, wherever he or she is based.”
It is also easier to schedule meetings between mentor and mentee as these relationships move online, he also says.
“Face-to-face mentoring or coaching were almost never recurring because one or even both contributors were frequent travelers, preventing them from meeting on a regular basis,” he says. “Meetings needed to be planned far ahead of time, and rescheduling was always challeng-ing. Online makes things easier, even impromptu.”
He says that in some cases, the mentor’s input is needed to face a specific situation that just appeared on the mentee’s radar.
“In this context, the quick availability of both is becoming a key element, and remote makes it easier,” he says.
There is a place for face-to-face meetings, though, Raymond adds, and it is preferable that the first contact is in person if that is possible. “This remote relationship for mentorship relies on a reciprocal trust and affinity and building this intuitu personae is obviously easier through a face-to-face meeting.”
From there, it will be easy to transition to an online environment. “Our ability to adjust to new environments will make remote sessions as easy and smooth as the physical ones.”
A mix of experiences
Some sources interviewed for this article do believe that in-person meetings will yield the best results.
Nichole Oswald, regional manager, RPM Living, for example, tells us that she prioritizes in-person meetings “because I truly feel that is the best way to build connection and trust.”
But her other views of the mentor-mentee dynamic have often steered her to long distance relationships. She says she has always sought mentor relationships outside her organization “because I feel that I am better able to be transparent and authentic without fear of repercus-sion.”
Oswald acknowledges that mentor relationships in a more “remote” environment take more thought.
She currently mentors through her alma mater and “it definitely requires me to shut down my ‘work’ computer and focus on the conversa-tion at hand.”
Many JLL employees have also had the experience of a remote mentor because the company connects its people with mentors regardless of geographic market, says Ryanne Pennington, JLL Managing director and Atlanta brokerage lead.
“We have always purposefully paired our people across boundaries with mentors who can help to open doors, share knowledge, and suggest successful career roadmaps.”
It may be extra work than in-person contacts, but she says, “like anything in life, if you are willing to put in the time and work, you will al-ways yield results on the backend.”
Mentees need to realize that like any good relationship, they will get out what they put into it, says Stephanie Anderson, senior director of Communication and Social Media at Grace Hill. “So, while the pool of opportunity has expanded to include more people and more locali-ties, there still needs to be that personal interaction that takes place.”
She believes that the human connection “can still be felt on video chat versus just email and phone and setting up one-on-one video conversations regularly is important for the success of the mentor-mentee relationship.”
A sense of commitment from both parties is key for a remote mentorship to work, says Amy Zimmerman, Chief People Officer at Relay Payments.
“I have found video calls to be a super-effective way to connect and coach. It’s important to stay focused and not try to multi-task, because that’s how you can quickly make the session ineffective.
“By aligning expectations, you can get the most out of a remote mentor and actively listen in-session because it’s easy to get derailed by distractions.”
Additional reporting provided by Erika Morphy.