Emojis are OK, and other business email questions answered

Email may now be the preferred form of communication for today’s insurance-business clients, but a poorly-executed message can unintentionally become a terrible turnoff. 

“Digital body language” is the subtext in commonly used phrases that can trip you up, argues Erica Dhawan, a leadership expert formerly with Lehman Bros. and Barclays.

This communications expert’s Wall Street Journal bestseller, “Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust & Connection, No Matter the Distance” (St. Martin’s Press-May 2021), is a deep dive into the do’s and don’ts of digital communications including email, video calls and texting.

Her clients include Bank of America, Fidelity, MetLife and PNC.

In a recent interview, Dhawan discussed major mistakes insurance professionals must avoid when emailing clients. Most critical is to steer clear of phrases that come across as passive aggressive, such as the ubiquitous neutral-seeming “going forward” and the typically courteous “Thank you for your patience.”

Be “tone deft,” not “tone deaf,” Dhawan stressed, noting that ambiguity in emails can lead to miscommunication that can erode the glow of a great client relationship.

Question: What exactly is “digital body language”?

Erica Dhawan: The cues and signals we send in our digital communications that make up the subtext of our message. 

How we adapt to our clients’ digital body language can make or break the connection and trust in sales.

It’s important to know that people have different digital styles. The “digital native” — digitally savvy — loves brief, to-the-point bullet points. 

The “digital adapter” might want a longer message. 

If the subject is really complex, they’d prefer a quick phone call. It’s knowing your audience and the different digital cues that will best connect with them.

Question: What some of common mistakes that business professionals should avoid in their emails?

Dhawan: Don’t write hasty, ambiguous messages. Limit excessive subservience, such as “I’m sure you’re busy but…” even though you’re trying to be respectful. Sometimes the tone is misinterpreted.

Avoid filler language [like that] versus what will actually serve the client. 

However, if the client is best served when you start an email with “I know you’re really busy, but here’s the [whatever document]. Would love to get on a call,” then send that.

Question: In your book, you say the oft-used term, “Going forward,” when written in emails, conveys “Don’t ever do that again.” So this is clearly one to be avoided?

Dhawan: Right. It could be misinterpreted as passive aggressive. Especially in a situation where there’s low trust, that and other phrases can unintentionally [seem like] a threat.

Question: Here’s another example of what you call passive aggressive: “Not trying to be rude, but…” People can easily take that the wrong way?

Dhawan: Exactly.

Question: You write that “dot, dot, dot,” or the ellipsis, is the most passive aggressive punctuation mark. How so?

Dhawan: Use the ellipsis carefully. Those three dots suggest something’s going on but leaves you wondering what it is. For optimum clarity, avoid using it unless it effectively signals an unfinished thought.

Question: You also write that “Thanks for your patience” can come across as a brush-off or implies that the sender needs more time?

Dhawan: Yes. A number of phrases in digital communication can be read differently. They’re ambiguous. Others include “Per my last email” and “To reiterate our previous conversation.”

Some people may use these because they’ve learned them in business school. But they actually signal passive aggressiveness, resentment or frustration.

I recommend that if you get ambiguous messages, assume good intent. But don’t be afraid to phone and have a conversation if you’re noticing something “different” [about the sender in the email].

Question: What’s the scoop on using emojis in business emails: Is it appropriate?

Dhawan: They’re the new facial expressions [replacing in-person ones]. They can signal emotional cues or levity or a humorous tone. An emoji can be used to share a cue of happiness or engagement.

So I would encourage professionals to try to use the power of emojis, but think before you use one. 

If you’re working with a digital native client who’s very savvy, an emoji can show that they can connect with you in a more relaxed way.

If you’re working with a digital adapter, who may be much more reluctant to communicate digitally, it’s probably best to err on the side of formality. This client may value bullet points, bold[face] and underlined headings. It goes back to knowing your audience.

Question: So age difference isn’t the chief issue to consider?

Dhawan: It isn’t about age anymore. The fastest growing segment on Facebook is ages 65 and older. They use a ton of emojis and GIFs and memes. It’s a way that they communicate.

Of course you ought to be professional. But you also want to be relatable. Throwing in that emoji or exclamation point could be helpful to signal positive intent.

See also:

• 5 ways to eliminate insurance company communication gaps
• Businesses remain hot targets for phishing & ransomware scams
• FBI tips to avoid ‘Business Email Compromise’ fraud