Think your city is cool? Psssssh.

New York didn't make the top 10 cut.

Chicago didn't even make a showing.

According to Forbes' determination of the U.S.' “coolest” cities, you won't find many of the usual suspects. Instead, Forbes, collaborating with Sperling's BestPlaces, came up with a top 20 list of “America's Coolest Cities” according to some very specific criteria, much of it centering on the interests of millennials.

As you can see, there are some pretty predictable choices, and a couple of dark horse surprises.

It's no shock that Texas and West Coast cities make a strong showing. Texas has jobs–the West Coast is, well, the West Coast, and young people will always flock there.

And I'm totally not surprised that Chicago didn't make the top 10 – or even the top 20. With our violent crime statistics, horrible public school system and high tax base, you wouldn't expect it to. Chicago is admittedly not one of the greatest places to live anymore.

But for some reason the Forbes survey doesn't care about crime, cost of living or jobs, which is kind of surprising because I don't see how a city can be cool if you can't afford to enjoy its coolness. However, it does address the issue in a roundabout way with its “net migration” category. Texas cities performed well on this list because people are flocking there for the jobs.

I agree with quite a few of these cities as being very cool. I visited Austin in the spring – it can't be beat for terrific music venues, great eats and better weather than Chicago, that's for sure. Denver, Seattle, San Francisco and Boston all hold their charms as well.

But I really have to wonder why Washington, D.C. was ranked the coolest city in the country. I find it hard to believe that what is essentially a company town, run by Gucci-loafered lobbyists and desperate guys who are constantly campaigning to keep their jobs, can possibly be classified as hip by anybody.

And wait – Riverside, Calif. has more cultural panache than Chicago? Chicago is the home of the CSO, Ravinia, the Art Institute, Lyric Opera, Second City and more. You want cool? We have Lollapalooza! Riverside lists its top three attractions as the Riverside National Cemetery, March Air Field Museum and California Citrus State Historic Park — all charming, I'm sure, but can you get a decent beef combo sandwich there?

The rest of the list (the bottom 20) also holds some surprises. Here you'll find the unsurprising choices like San Antonio, Miami and L.A. But…New York is No. 11? Again: when it comes to culture, unique eateries and a millennial population, why did New York take a back seat to Washington, D.C.? (Thank god for Bethesda, in case D.C. is too exciting for you.)

And since cost of living, crime and jobs aren't even figured in the equation, why didn't New Orleans make the list? I can't think of a more unique city in the country. And what about Sin City itself, Las Vegas? There's a reason you don't hear the phrase, “What happens in Raleigh, N.C. stays in Raleigh, N.C.” And if you want hip, what could possibly be hipper than Portlandia? Yet it didn't even cause a ripple in the top 20.

I'm obviously far from being one of the cool kids, so my opinion doesn't count for much. But I would think that the sexiest cities for any millennials would be the ones where they could land gainful employment and actually afford to live.

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