Remember the Jetsons? All of us were supposed to have flying cars, robotic maids (that look like Rosie, not a Roomba) and space-age clothes by now. True, we have all the communications devices of the last 20 years or so, but what about the really cool stuff?
For almost 100 years, the Kiplinger Letter has fairly accurately predicted future technology (forecasting copiers and printers in 1959, and pocket communcation gadgets in 1963). In their most recent prognostication, released last week, Kiplinger editors spotlighted eight technologies they believe we'll be using in our Offices of the Future — that is, if any of us still have offices, or a future.
Here's what they're predicting:
|- Office drones: Drones, some as small as an insect and equipped with onboard cameras and navigation systems, will be able to swoop down workplace corridors and stairwells, "and provide 'eyes and ears' for surveillance," with the added benefit of terrifying employees. The larger ones, equipped with video screens, will allow "real-time video chats with workers," so your boss can nag you remotely. In another life I had a supervisor who'd stand by the coffee machine at 4:45 p.m., pointedly gazing out over the cube farm to make sure nobody left early. Drones could easily displace his position, and have a more pleasant personality, too.
- Artificial intelligence at your desktop: Forget ever having to respond to an email again. Smart software currently in development will be able to draft your response by scraping the Web or other databases for relevant information. Other AI software will automatically perform a cost-benefit analysis of whether to interrupt you for an incoming phone call. "Having a computer take over some of the most mundane email and computer tasks could be a huge time-saver." Translation: Having a computer take over some of the more mundate jobs can also eliminate most of those mundane job positions. (We wrote about AI replacing our jobs here.)
- Sensors that track your every move: Employee badges with embedded sensors will track your every move, "providing insights on employee behavior that can inspire changes to office design, meetings and more." (I like the way they make it sound like a good thing.) For example, excess fidgeting by workers at their desks may suggest it's time for new office chairs, or that the company should stop providing that limitless coffee service. (Question: Can you at least leave the badge at your desk when you're answering nature's call?)
- Smart work clothes: Meaning "smart" not in the Women's Wear Daily sense, but as in "intelligent." Futuristic work clothing will tighten itself to provide more warmth (always important in the perennially over-air-conditioned office) and expand when you're overheated. Next-generation apparel, which you can be sure won't be as cool as Judy Jetson's, will also charge your mobile device (I really don't want to know where you're supposed to plug it in) and become yet another computing platform, as if Google Glass isn't bad enough. It's unclear whether these will be issued in the Dockers khaki-and-golf-shirt attire required for insurance agents.
- Roaming robots: Here's where Rosie comes in, that is if Rosie was reincarnated as a despotic floor manager at a 1950s-era cheese factory in Fond du Lac. "Zipping around the office or shop floor with video monitors perched on their heads, robots will provide managers and security personnel with round-the-clock video of what's going on where and who's doing what." (This reminds me of the bumper sticker that exclaims, "Jesus is coming! Look busy.") The robots will be capable of "stopping and chatting with human counterparts — even joining them for conversation at a lunch table." (Doubtless their insights on "Game of Thrones" will be indispensible.) These interactions will "help to boost information sharing and productivity, lessening the need for managers to physically make the rounds," and effectively eliminating the position of office snitch. Double Robotics has your future commandant and/or new workplace BFF in production, weighing in at 15 pounds and costing about two grand.
- A computer that reads you: Think Tom Cruise in "Minority Report" (or the interactive screen-happy reporter on the Onion News Network). "Spatial computing technology will let you fling PowerPoint presentations to screens mounted on different walls with gestures or motion-enabled remote controls." And if your PowerPoint slides are as content-rich as something produced by McKinsey, that's gonna mean a lot of flinging.
- Wireless charging: "Desks and office furniture will come equipped with built-in chargers that don't require plugs or cords." Finally, a good idea–unless you're plugging into those smart work clothes (see above).
- So long, office computer: Kiplinger predicts that by 2016, nearly 40 percent of U.S. businesses will have weaned workers off corporate-issued portable devices and even desktop computers, in favor of BYOD (letting them use their own devices). This may save companies money, but could really cut into employees' Bejewelled and Candy Crush Saga time. The move helps companies save money but raises some concerns about security. But don't worry: "Software from companies such as AirPatrol, for example, can automatically sense and turn off smart phone cameras in sensitive corporate areas, preventing secrets from spilling out." Don't worry about what the device does in sensitive home areas and whether any of those secrets will spill out.
- Interactive iLunch hands-free technology. Since most of us are already eating our lunches at our desk, this hands-free personal assistant, designed like the traditional equine product, will allow uninterrupted worktime and can be upgraded with Internet connectivity and GPS for remote workplaces.
Okay, I made that last one up.
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