Meg: “Hello—this is Meg from Typical Insurance Company, and I'm calling about your auto accident. I know you had damage to your car. I am sorry that we don't have any independent adjusters available right now. Can you get an estimate on the repairs and send that to me?”

Mr. Swope: “No way; I'm not going to do that.”

Meg: “Why is that?”

Mr. Swope: “I'll tell you why: Because I'm the victim here. Why should I run around doing your job?”

Meg: “Well, it's not my job to prove your claim; it's your job. You have to do this in order to get paid.”

What went wrong during the call? How would you or your claims staff have dealt with Mr. Swope? It's clear that you don't want to argue. Yet, it is also necessary to demonstrate that you fully understand his point of view so that he will be open to listening. However, what is Mr. Swope really telling Meg?

Emotionally Charged Verbiage

When Mr. Swope responded, “Because I'm the victim here,” Meg glossed over a crucial and highly emotional word—victim—and began arguing about where the onus lay to resolve the claim. So here is our suggestion: Pay special attention when customers use emotional words. Such words are vivid and, provided that you are listening, are easy to pick out during the conversation.

When customers use emotional words with their reasons, it is a hint the issue is important to them. In this case, Mr. Swope used the word “victim.” What connotations does “victim” normally conjure up? Generally, we associate the word with a crime having been committed. Had he been the victim of a wrongful act, then Mr. Swope would be using the word correctly. But you know what? He is not too far off. After all, Mr. Swope wasn't doing anything wrong when someone slammed his or her car into his. Because of the fault of another, he must now miss a day of work. This day “off” will be far from relaxing; in fact, he'll spend it running around obtaining estimates for the repairs. No wonder Mr. Swope feels like a victim. It's a perfectly reasonable perception.

The Empathic Connection

Think of the empathic connection as the difference between what someone said and what they actually meant. Consider what Mr. Swope said, “I'm the victim here.” What Mr. Swope wanted is empathy for having been involved in an auto accident. What Meg should have done is focus on the emotional word and what it meant. This represents the ability to make an empathic connection. It's certainly not always easy.

Here's another scenario we encountered while monitoring phone calls. During a FNOL interaction, the claims professional was talking to a customer who said, “Oh man, my brand new Porsche is creamed.” The adjuster responded with, “Don't worry; we'll compensate you for the repairs.” It's a subtle oversight on the part of the representative. The customer is seeking an empathetic response, only that reflects the disappointment associated with having a brand new—and rather expensive—car severely damaged. The claims professional in this case missed what was meant versus what was said. 

Learning Opportunities

Now try this one:  Let's say a wife walks up to her husband and says, “Wow, Shirley sure is lucky her husband brings her flowers.” The husband responds, “She sure is.” Obviously, what the wife said and what she meant are two different things. What did she mean when she said, “Shirley sure is lucky her husband brings her flowers”? Well, the wife meant, “I would like flowers, please.” But that's not what she said. The unsuspecting husband failed to make the empathic connection between what his wife said and what she really meant.

Let's get back to the customer with the Porsche. We've established that the claims professional didn't make the empathic connection, either. When the customer said, “My brand new Porsche is creamed,” the customer wasn't asking, “Will I be compensated for the damages to my automobile?” Rather, the customer was saying, “My life is upside down right now. I am so upset, I'm beside myself.”

Now if the claims professional had considered what was meant versus what was said and made the empathic connection, he or she could have said something like, “You know what? If your brand new Porsche is creamed, then I am sorry. I know this is going to be difficult for you. I know you probably loved that car. If there was a way I could take that accident back, then I'd love to do it. But I can't. What I can do, however, is to make sure you get everything to which you're entitled.”

As a claims professional, listen for emotional words and consider what the customer means. A genuine, empathic connection with the customer is a skill that great claims people use to gain cooperation.

Great claims people take their empathic connection a step further; they tie in the customer changing the way they feel, to what they want the customer to do. If you can tie in the customer changing the way they feel, with what you want them to do, the more likely the customer will do it. Here's an example of what we mean:

Mr. Swope: “Hello.”

Meg: “Hello, this is Meg from Typical Insurance Company, and I'm calling about your auto accident. I know you had damage to your car. I am sorry that we don't have any independent adjusters available right now. Can you get the estimate on the repairs and send that to me?”

Mr. Swope: “No way, I'm not going to do that.”

Meg: “Why is that, sir?”

Mr. Swope: “I'll tell you why: Because I'm the victim here. Why should I run around doing your job?”

Meg: “You know, Mr. Swope, if you don't want to get an estimate because you're feeling like a victim, then I can understand that. You weren't doing anything wrong when our insured's vehicle slammed into yours. I appreciate how this makes you feel. I'll tell you what, if you can go get an estimate, some good things will happen. First of all, you will get to pick the shop, so you can work with someone you trust. Second, you'll be there when the estimate is written to ensure they don't miss anything. That's good for you. Third, if you can get them to fax it to me, then I'll get a check out to you as soon as possible. When you're back on the road and can get all of this behind you, maybe you won't have to feel like a victim anymore. Because that's a lousy way to feel, and I'd like to help.”

Did you see how Meg acknowledged Mr. Swope's reason, made the empathic connection of what was meant with the emotional word, and tied in getting what she wanted from him? Maybe Mr. Swope will do what Meg asks. Maybe he won't. Either way, Meg's job is hard enough without arguing with Mr. Swope about whether he is a victim or whose job it is to prove the claim.

Points About Listening

• People will listen to you to the exact degree you show them you understand their point of view.
• Demonstrate you understand their point of view by acknowledging it.
• The best way to acknowledge someone's point of view is to repeat it back to them.
• Don't argue with reasons. Acknowledge reasons and get back to discussing the facts.
• Pay attention when customers use emotional words.