"Greetings, oh groggy one!" bellowed the large lifeform slowly appearing from the mists as Ebenezer's vision gradually came into focus. His visitor was immense, even while seated, nearly banging his head into the ceiling. Clothed in fine and festive garb, surrounded by a plethora of foods for a feast, his face aglow and his smile wide, his energy literally lit up the room. Even as his head and vision cleared, Ebenezer's thoughts grew more puzzled. "Wait a minute, this all seems somewhat familiar. Aren't you one of those spirits that goes around visiting folks about the need to turn their lives around and discover the true meaning of Christmas?" "That would be me!" "Ok, then, what gives? According to the story, first the warning guy comes with the chains and groaning, then the skinny lady who shows the past, then you. How come no warning? Where are the other spirits?" "Layoffs." "Oh, come on. Downsizing in the spirit world?" "Hey, Ebby-baby, you think you're the only one in a tough economy? You seriously need to get over yourself! That has always been your problem, anyway." "My problem? Guess we need to get started. Are you going to lead me on to my past now?" "Nope." "Nope? That's it? Nope? Then how are we going to get to my reclamation?" "Your what?

"My reclamation. That is what this is all about, right? You show me the error of my ways, I realize I need to change, and voila, we all love Christmas ever after!"

"Eb, you watch way too many movies. I'm not here to reclaim you. I'm here to remove you."