While we all know that poor claim writing can lead to bad-faith lawsuits, a slow-down in settlements, loss of a company's professional image, and assorted other catastrophes, there isn't much written about how, precisely, key specific writing deficiencies that show up in claim communications have a direct influence on a customer's attitude toward a carrier. This article will show how seven of the key writing errors made in claims affect the customer's perception of a company, based on the types of writing problems observed. Then we will show the result of that result: the negative behaviors that dampen the claim process and may cost the industry untold millions of dollars.

The seven writing problems are: (1) old-fashioned phrases; (2) poor organization; (3) poor phrasing; (4) inappropriate tone; (5) "weasel words" or hedging; (6) poor punctuation and grammar; and (7) wordiness.

Old-Fashioned Phrases

It's not strange that business phrases appropriate 50-70 years ago still show up in claim writing. New hires, afraid of rocking the boat, look to the filing cabinet for models of how the company expects them to write. So, phrases like "enclosed please find," "under separate cover," "pursuant to," "very truly yours," and "do not hesitate to contact me," still abound in tens of thousands of claim letters sent daily.

How does the reader react? Faced with stiff, stodgy prose, he is immediately on the defensive. These phrases signal a formality that means one had better be careful. There is a line in the sand between the reader and the writer who has had his unique personality drained by these clich?s and quaint phrases.

The result is wariness. Wariness can spell the beginnings of an adversarial relationship that can cast a pall on all future dealing with the policyholder. While the reader has not met you in person yet, they have met a stilted, stodgy version of you and that may result in a feeling that they will have to be extra-assertive if they are to crack through the fa?ade of "corporate-ese."

Poor Organization

When a reader examines a claim document, he expects it to get to the point and lay out the message in an easy-to-grasp, even predictable format that takes the reader comfortably from beginning to end.

Unless claim professionals have been trained in organizing informative and persuasive documents, they may find themselves reinventing the wheel with each new letter and taking the reader not to a destination, but on a cruise to nowhere. Oh sure, the facts are all there, but the reader is left at the end of the document wondering, "Why did you write to me?"

Since we all dislike dissonance, we need to get clarification as to just what is expected of us from this somewhat rambling missive that never makes its point clear. So the policyholder calls the adjuster and is put on hold, where he listens to things like, "Your call is very important to us," and snippets of music that further grates the nerves. The claim person is at lunch. The policyholder calls back, and pretty soon he is enraged at the time spent trying to understand what should have been clear from the letter. Now the reader is feeling adversarial, and when people feel adversarial, they may go to your manager and sound off.

Poor Phrasing

How would you react if you received the following in a claim letter?

"During a recent review of our records, it has come to our attention that your mode of payment is out of synch. Your policy effective date is September 20, 1999, showing an annual mode of payment, paying the policy to October 20, 2007. An annual mode of payment must coincide with the effective date of our policy. Therefore, your annual mode must show a date of September 20, 2007."

At first, you might think that something must be wrong with you. Why doesn't this paragraph make sense? Eventually, you realize that it doesn't make sense because the writer wasn't explicit, threw around jargon like "out of sync," and "mode," and never really made clear what was needed.

Here are several other examples of poor phrasing taken from actual claim letters:

?"In regards to ..." [The desired word is regard, not regards.]

?"The settlement reached for this claim is $30,000; however $5,000 was deducted to cover Jones Farms' deductible, which has not been eroded. [Not clear what "eroded" refers to.]

?"After speaking with Mr. Lowell, he stated that he was backing out of the parking space while you were pulling into a parking space, hitting your vehicle." [Huh?]

And my favorite: "Based on the coverage form, there is no coverage for vehicles that you hire for collision with another object."

The result is anger, frustration, and antipathy. Are they playing you for a fool by talking over your head or being unclear? The reader thinks, "Well, maybe it's time to get a lawyer to deal with these people." No ledger can record the cost of this type of highly alienating prose on the policyholder, but the cost is high and it's cumulative.

Inappropriate Tone

How would you react if you read the following in a claim letter?

?"Let me remind you that it is your job to provide us with evidence of damages to warrant any more payments."

?"As you well know, it is impossible to determine appropriate and necessary medical expenses if you persist in delaying telling us which services Dr. Oman rendered."

?"Please respond accurately and quickly."

Many readers would consciously or subconsciously recognize that the writers are beating them up, putting them down, and making them feel a lot less than OK. If tone is the writer's attitude toward the reader, then the reader may feel the nasty, negative, or abrupt tone is the hallmark of their insurance carrier as well as their adjusters.

The result is that some readers will get miffed enough to think, "Who does this character think he is?" The next time he calls his insurance company, he may just register a complaint with the adjuster or examiner's manager. That can snowball into a range of negative outcomes. Customers pick up on tone, and it is natural for them to push back.

Weasel Words or Hedging

The following snippets have been taken from actual claims writing:

?"I will try to discuss these issues in this letter.

?It is my understanding that ...

?Although I cannot confirm the extent of the project, it appears ...

?Assuming the above to be accurate ...

?I am advised that ...

?Presumably ...

?To the extent that these events did occur ...

?It appears the bathroom could be repaired for $100.

?I have no knowledge as to why it is alleged to have warped.

?Thus it is hard to comment upon whether this would be covered.

?I believe the above covers all of the damage I am aware of."

All of these comments were taken from the same letter.

How many of your professionals sound as if they are far from sure about what they are writing? If they are unsure, readers are even less sure that they are hearing certainty, not circumlocution. A single use of the word "may" in a claim letter convinced at least one court that ambiguous language contributed to bad faith. Payout: $840,000.

"May" is a weasel word and judges know it. Too many vague phrases in a document can undermine its authority and accuracy. You don't need to be an attorney to sense that a claim writer is using too much "wiggle room" in his reporting of a claim. Challenging a carrier's sense of indefiniteness has won a lot of lawsuits for plaintiffs. Writing training should help claim professionals check for weasel words in their writing with the same certainty that a spell checker uncovers misspellings.

Poor Punctuation and Grammar

Just in case you think that the grammar check on your computer makes you immune from punctuation and grammar errors, think again. Most grammar checkers catch only about 10-15 percent of the most blatant errors in punctuation and grammar.

If only five letters were written daily by each of the largest 2,000 insurance carriers, TPAs, and independent agents, that would amount to 100,000 letters. In my experience of teaching claim professionals, about 60 percent of those letters will have punctuation or grammar mistakes. When insureds see these mistakes, they may not know exactly what is going wrong, but their instinct will be that it doesn't sound right. Some will actually read the letter through and correct the mistakes. In either case, the company gains a reputation for lack of professionalism.

If your company has suffered from too many basic writing errors, it may be feeling it in surveys showing how agents or insureds feel about their interactions with the carrier. Perhaps you can't put your finger on what's wrong, but your instinct tells you that the message is subtly being mangled. That shows carelessness. Do readers want to have their car, home, farm, or life insured by a company that neglects the basics of punctuation, grammar, spelling, capitalization, abbreviation, or format?

Wordiness

Readers appreciate conciseness, but how many adjusters recognize when they are using too many words to get an idea across? Here are a few examples taken from wordy letters:

?"According to Ms. Green's past medical history, she has been totally disabled since 1994 due to various illness conditions."

?"Return the properly signed forms back to Acme Mutual."

?"Monsoon storm ..."

?"It reveals several occurrences alleged to have occurred."

It may not show up on a carrier's balance sheet, but wordiness -- like ice under a moving car -- slows up the whole process of adjusting. Even if extra words account for adding only five percent more time to the settling of each claim, that five percent can result in the silent bleeding away of millions of dollars in lost productivity.

Unlike learning how to drive, the process of learning how to write is ongoing. No single class can root out all of the potential problems embedded in a claim department's hundreds of form and free-form letters that are sent to thousands of customers annually. To assess your own company's letters, pick one up and ask yourself, "How would I react if this letter was sent to me?" Read the letter aloud. You'll then be confronted with how easy it is to get complacent about communicating with insureds.

Gary Blake is director of the Communication Workshop, which offers on-site seminars as well as seminars throughout the insurance community. He may be reached at [email protected],www.writingworkshop.com.

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