Years ago, it seemed every town had a local television station that aired a show designed to scare kids out of their wits. The format was always the same. Some local personality or station employee would draw the short straw and get made up as a zombie, mummy or (usually) vampire, be given the corniest name possible, and then host the weekly low-budget horror flick.

When I was a kid, my faithful guide to the gore was one M.T. Graves, who lived in the dungeon below the station, rising from his coffin only when commanded by the warden every Saturday afternoon. Each week, he would root for the giant ants, spiders, space aliens or creatures mutated by atomic accidents (always in Japan or on some remote Pacific island) to triumph over the pathetic efforts of puny mortals. And each week, of course, he was doomed to disappointment but promised to have another go at scaring the pants off us if we dared return next week.
Viewing these movies as adults, we find them hilarious and amateurish. How in the world did we ever take them seriously? Yet I clearly remember feelings of abject fear, more than once leading to nightmares and a need to seek comfort from the nearest available adult. I knew M.T. Graves wasn't real, but those humongous spiders swallowing those poor soldiers whole–aaiiieeee!!
How appropriate then, in the month of Halloween, that we acknowledge seemingly comical yet potentially terrorizing events occurring in our agencies every day. Turn down the lights, light the candle in the jack-o-lantern and permit me to step into the decrepit shoes of M.T. Graves. In the sonorous tones of Boris Karloff, I now lead you on a journey to the dark side of agencies one could only wish were located far, far away, on a remote Pacific island.
While the following queries will appear humorous or farfetched to experienced agents and brokers (let's call you “adults”), there are folks working in your very office (“kids”) who would find them frighteningly familiar. Each question is absolutely real, chosen from the online mailbag of the IIABA Virtual University Ask the Experts service. As my friend Mary Eisenhart is wont to say, “Be afraid; be very afraid.” To wit:
–”Where does business income derive from? Is it property or liability?”
–”How is an all-risk policy better than a named-perils policy?”
–”What's the easiest way to explain to an insured the HO 1732 endorsement on a condo policy (Spec. Cov. A) vs. not having this endorsement?”
–”I received a question today from a client's spouse, who asked if it's really a big deal if she's added as named insured along with her husband. You know how with some policies just one of the spouses is listed as named insured? I told her that as long as she's listed as a driver, that's what matters. Is there anything else missing?”
–”Is it not true that you would not be fully covered under the homeowners policy for boat liability?”
–”I have a situation where an insured is purchasing a home that he'll be renovating for a year, so it will be vacant. The lender faxed over the appraisal. At this time, the only market I have is a DP1 and that is written as ACV for the dwelling. What I wanted to know is how do I explain to the lender that I can't write it at full replacement value?”
–”Please advise the best way to let a client know that a DP3 is a better policy than DP1. I hope you can help me.”
–”I was wondering … let's say an insured's home's square footage is 1,400 and the Costimator reflects the replacement of the home at $210,000. Then later we find out that the true square footage of the home was really 1,700, thus making the replacement value higher. Can the company at time of loss come back and penalize the insured?”
Aaiiieeee!!
What's truly terrifying is that this is just a small sampling. I had a veritable ocean of similar queries to choose from.
Last month, I shared several questions from supposedly competent insurance folks I called “coasters”–those who seemed too lazy or distracted to find the correct answers to simple coverage questions. (I really need to stop publishing these things or nobody will write in anymore!) Rather than–God forbid–peek at the policy, coasters take a guess and hope they pin the tail on the coverage donkey. If they miss, their insureds take it in the neck while they stumble on to the next client. Sure, an E&O claim may later provide the client some payback, but the insured would much rather have had the coverage. That's why people buy insurance.
What makes the queries cited here even scarier than last month's is that the folks weren't coasting. This is not a “Look how stupid some people must be to ask such questions” column. Quite the opposite: These folks are scared. You can almost smell the fear that drove them to their keyboards to query our experts. Can't you hear the trembling voice behind that plaintive “I hope you can help me”?
If you're an owner, manager or only a more experienced insurance practitioner, you should be scared too. Let us count the ways:
Scare No. 1: These folks are real employees in real insurance agencies. None of the queries above is hypothetical or has been doctored in any way. They are from real people interacting daily with real insureds who have every right to believe they're placing their real risks into the hands of real insurance professionals. What will those insureds do when they learn the truth–that their agents don't really know what they're doing–especially if this unpleasant revelation comes at claim time?
Scare No. 2: These folks have big gaps in basic insurance knowledge. This isn't about being confused by obtuse wording in forms or misinterpreting gray areas. This is “I have not yet completed my first insurance class” stuff. Yet someone out there is hiring these folks and placing them in the direct line of fire without proper preparation. Who's more at fault when someone is floundering in waters far too deep for their current abilities–the person going under, or the fool who threw them off the dock, yelling, “Swim for it! This is how you learn!”?
Scare No. 3: These folks came to us instead of you.
“You” meaning their supervisor, fellow team member or agency principal. It reminds me of teaching teenagers in Sunday school. Sometimes one would come to me with a confidential question. I felt gratified by the level of trust the student showed in me, but I also felt sad that they needed to ask me a question that should have been directed to their parents. When I gently suggested that perhaps they should go to Mom and Dad, guess what they told me? Bingo: They were scared. Scared of being humiliated, scared of not living up to expectations, scared of what repercussions revealing this ignorance might create.
Are your people afraid of you?
Do you provide ready access to learning resources and opportunities? Does everyone in your agency know whom they can go to with a coverage, underwriting or procedural question? Does everyone who works for and with you know such questions will be received in a positive manner? Or are they afraid that such queries will be seen as signs of weakness or incompetence that will be answered with disdain, loss of respect or even termination?
Scare No. 4: You believe you're receptive, but they don't.
School counselors, religious leaders and anyone who works with youth will tell you they're amazed at how many parents are unaware their child is afraid to confide in them. “Oh no,” they insist. “My child and I have a wonderful relationship! He knows he can come to me anytime.” Does he? Evidently some well-meaning parents are sending totally different signals with their attitudes and actions. It's a sad clich? that such parents often learn of their error at the worst time–when their child is already deep in trouble.
Sounds a bit like your learning of an employee's ignorance at the time of a claim, doesn't it? You may feel you're doing all the right things to foster an environment in which employees feel it's safe to ask questions, but don't assume anything. Continually reinforce the message that what seems to be a stupid question is much better than what is definitely a stupid mistake.
And the payoff? Just as with those horror films, someday you'll find you've outgrown your fears and these situations will seem comical. Until then, remember: It's a lot more fun to get the joke, than to be the joke.
Chris Amrhein is an insurance educator and speaker with more than 30 years in the industry. He is also chief fun officer of www.insuranceisfun.com, where his newest book of insurance musings, “Yes, Virginia, There Is Insurance,” is now available. Readers may contact Chris at [email protected]