Take the case of the young man who had spent years courting his fianc?e, built her a spacious new house as a surprise, and was ready to walk down the aisle with the love of his life--only to find out she preferred practicing wrestling moves with his "best friend."

Angry as the bridegroom was, however, it was his tremendous sense of loss and grief that was so palpable in that unfortunate episode.

The point is the truth of a situation may be more than we can handle, or more than we really ever wanted to know. Under different circumstances, maybe the errant bride would have cut short her WWF career with some counseling, or even with the passage of time.

But with the evidence memorialized on tape and presented on national television, the gravity of the situation had increased to a level where the possibility of reconciliation seemed remote at best.

Some would argue (and I would agree) that the groom was better off having found out about his fianc?e's wandering ways before he married her. I wonder, though, if in his heart of hearts, the groom wished he had never seen that evidence.

I bring up these thoughts in light of a new product I saw advertised recently in a computer journal. The software--Spector CNE from SpectorSoft Corp. of Vero Beach, Fla.--allows firms to eavesdrop and record everything employees do on the Internet.

This is advisable, the outfit contends, because employees spend an average of 75 minutes a day using office computers for non-work activities, such as looking at pornography, gambling, shopping, etc. That translates into a $300,000 annual loss for a 50-employee company, they claim.

Obviously, we want to know if employees are doing something that could hurt the company--such as accessing illicit materials, sharing company secrets, or otherwise breaking the law. But what about someone who's just checking on his favorite baseball team, downloading a recipe for dinner, or instant messaging with a family member? Obviously, an agency or home office needs to draw a line somewhere.

On the flip side, do you, as an employee, want Big Brother looking over your shoulder every time you read a personal e-mail or log onto sappysongs.com? Must your every thought and action be in service to your employer, or is there an acknowledgement that you may actually have a life outside of work?

If we install such software--and there are often very good reasons to do so--do we really want to know everything we are going to find out? As employees, do we really want our every move and keystroke monitored? And what will the threat of constant surveillance do to employee morale?

Further, think of the potential for abuse--if, for example, an IT manager or senior executive has it in for you. The temptation would certainly be great for that person to get some dirt on you, a la "Cheaters."

My suggestion is to avoid pervasive spying, but if you believe you need such surveillance in your company, pay the $495 for a minimum 10 licenses for Spector CNE or something similar--but don't install it.

Simply announce that you have purchased it and let everyone know what its capabilities are. That alone should be sufficient to stop any really harmful activities on your office systems. This way, the temptation for abuse would be removed, although you'll still have to deal with morale issues.

An employee's right to privacy and an employer's right to safeguard their company are both indisputable. If there is not an honest and sincere effort to balance these rights, however, innocent parties--as well as the cheaters--may be made to pay a very painful price.