You want stability, defined as same-old, same-old? Become a roofing contractor. They make good money, but the work is seasonal. The working conditions are horrible (and dirty), and sometimes downright dangerous. (I know of what I speak. I had a short stint as publisher of a roofing contractor magazine.) Roofing contractors can't keep experienced installers, because said installers will “jump ship” for as little as $.60/hr. Yes, they get overtime, but how much overtime could you handle in 90-degree weather? And by the way, your workers' comp premiums would be outlandish.

Looking for something with a little more pizzazz? Become a fireman. They're hunky and (sometimes) get to pose for calendars with their shirts off. Unless they're firewomen (I'm just covering my equal-opportunity bases here!). They often have a lot of leisure time between alarms, at least they did in the old days. And they eat rather well at the firehouse. I remember my uncle was a fireman back in the '50s. The tallest building in Cleveland at that time was the 52-story Terminal Tower. He had it made. There were no terrorist attacks in Cleveland in the '50s, no flaming, crumbling skyscrapers, no – well, you get the picture. Like I said earlier, the whole world is changing. (Although remembering my now-deceased uncle, I'm certain he would have been first in line to pose shirtless, calendar or not!)

Now let's have a little fun. E-mail me at [email protected] and answer the following two-part question: If I couldn't be in the claim-handling profession, I'd like to be a _____________, because____________________. We'll publish your responses, anonymously, I assure you.

And while you're ruminating over that challenge, say a prayer for everyone in Florida: the residents, the adjusters, and the disaster recovery people. At this writing, “Ivan the Terrible” is on the approach and bearing down on the Keys. One thing's for sure, the bottom-line effects of this hurricane season in the southeast are going to be memorable . . . in the worst way.

P.S.

Ferklempt: Yiddish for bad mood

Kvetch: Yiddish for complainer