E-mail marketing seems like a good ideawe do it ourselves occasionally. But sometimes I have a hard time believing that anyone reads it, especially when I think of the kind of e-mail I get.
Ive been approved for countless loans; won cruises, video cameras, cars, cameras, dream dates, and land in Europe. Ive been told of ways I can lose five, 10, or more pounds in one, two, or three weeks. Ive been offered love and romanceor whatever passes for it these dayssometimes in unnecessary detail, and often from people outside my demographic.
Several ambassadors from several African nations have offered me millions to help get money out of their country. All they need is my credit card number to do it. Others have offered me the blessings of various gods, saints, and lesser deities. One even promised to help me channel the power of the Devil. (Perhaps people in Washington opened that one, but not me.)
Ive had dozens of people simply say, Hi or Ive missed you. (This is surprising because you need to have met someone before you can miss him, and I suspect Id remember these people if I had, in fact, made their acquaintance.)
Ive been offered apparently great products at great prices: Tiny video cameras are the big thing, as are various products to increase this, extend those, and improve that. I learned I didnt have to be lonely (Im not), I can drive a great car (I do), and that there are great investments waiting for me (I have some already).
The most worn key on my keyboard is Del.
These peopleand I use the term looselyhave resorted to all sorts of tricks to get me to open their mail. The first tactic was adding Re: to the subject so I would somehow think I sent a message entitled How can I make millions easily?????
When that didnt work, the subjects got more friendly (although not nearly as friendly as the messages themselves)from How have you been? to Do you remember me? to Guess who I saw at the supermarket?
Of course, I learned to look at the sender and delete mail from names I didnt recognize or were obviously mail bots. So when I (and others like me) began ignoring messages from [email protected], they started using real-sounding names in the From: field. That might work, but sometimes their mail software screws up; Ive had several with subjects like Hey, $firstname! How are u? I dont know many people named $Firstname.
But what really scares me about all this is that the junk keeps coming. And it doesnt get that much more creative. Which means that out there, somewhere, people are responding. People are giving foreign ambassadors their credit card numbers, or buying X10 video cameras, or shelling out thousands for various pills, solutions, or creams.
If you know anyone like this, slap them upside the head. And send me their business cardstheres this kid in England who collects them. ANDREW KANTOR
Want to continue reading?
Become a Free PropertyCasualty360 Digital Reader
Your access to unlimited PropertyCasualty360 content isn’t changing.
Once you are an ALM digital member, you’ll receive:
- Breaking insurance news and analysis, on-site and via our newsletters and custom alerts
- Weekly Insurance Speak podcast featuring exclusive interviews with industry leaders
- Educational webcasts, white papers, and ebooks from industry thought leaders
- Critical converage of the employee benefits and financial advisory markets on our other ALM sites, BenefitsPRO and ThinkAdvisor
Already have an account? Sign In Now
© 2024 ALM Global, LLC, All Rights Reserved. Request academic re-use from www.copyright.com. All other uses, submit a request to [email protected]. For more information visit Asset & Logo Licensing.
