My homeowners insurance agent is a guy named Gary Sargent, and the few times I've been to his office it's been a pleasant experience. Everyone's friendly and helpful, there's never a wait, I get all the information I need-all in all, a good experience.
I realized how much nicer it is dealing with Gary and his staff to buy insurance than it is dealing with many of the other things I've bought in life. Buying a car comes to mind: Pushy salesmen, nonsense trips “to speak to my manager,” and so on.
Buying insurance, even though I do it rarely, was a better experience than buying a lot of other things.
If it were like buying popcorn at the movies: “Gimme 100,000/300,000 auto coverage.” “You know, for a quarter more you can get the 300/500.”
Like a kitten at the animal shelter: “I'll take this E&O policy.” “OK, but there's this nice D&O you might want to check out instead. I hate to say so, but if no one takes it, it might be, you know, discontinued.”
Like football tickets: “Hey, buddy. I got a great BOP. Nice coverage. Two hundred bucks. C'mon, c'mon, where you gonna get a better one?” (Like Bengals tickets: “You need a BOP policy? Six bucks! C'mon, take it, willya? Please?”)
Like a printer cartridge: “I need to add some cars to our fleet coverage.”"Well, do you have the XGK4000 policy, the XGK4000a, or the XGK4001? And did you upgrade the firmware?”
Like drive-thru fast food: “I'd like a homeowners policy with an earthquake rider and extra personal-property protection.” “Mxphlghga? Tfblugh dmkrdohpo?” “Sure, supersize it.”
Like an airline ticket: “I need a policy for my boat.” “That'll be $250 a year.” “I'll be over tomorrow.” “Then it'll be $500.”
Like a ride in a NYC cab: “A $250,000 term life policy, and step on it.” “#$%@&!”
Like a plumber: “This looks great.” “Thanks. That'll be four million dollars.”
Quick Take:
An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.
For the comprehensive list of actuary jokes,
visit our site of the month: www.actuarialjokes.com.
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