For most families, caring for mom or dad as they age is not a family effort. According to new data from Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company's latest C.A.R.E. Study, the responsibility most likely falls on the shoulders of one sibling, rather than being shared among all the children.
The study found that two in five caregivers are caring for or have cared for a parent and, although the majority (83 percent) have siblings, only one in 10 said siblings equally share responsibilities as a team. Rather, 40 percent said their siblings do not assist in caring for their parent at all, and an additional 41 percent indicated that although siblings offer some help, they themselves are the primary caregiver.
“Families are fundamentally changing in ways that impact how they're able to care for aging parents,” said Dave Simbro, senior vice president for risk products at Northwestern Mutual. “Parents are living longer, most of their children are working full-time, people are having children later in life, and families are geographically dispersed. These evolving demographics underscore the importance of planning for long-term care needs.”
Although more than half of caregivers (58 percent) knew in advance that they would be providing care, for two in five, it was not discussed and was completely unexpected. This factor – whether a caregiver knows in advance about taking on this role – impacts how they feel about the choices they have: 58 percent of caregivers who feel they did not have a choice in becoming a caregiver said there was no discussion ahead of time and it was totally unexpected.
The perception of choice is also influenced by age and relationship with the person receiving the care:
- 72 percent of Millennials reported that they had a choice, followed by Gen X (56 percent). Whereas 62 percent of Baby Boomers said they do not feel they had a choice.
- Two in three (65 percent) of those caring for a spouse said that they do not feel they have/had a choice, versus 51 percent of those caring for a parent.
The study looked at the financial and practical realities of caregiving and found:
- Caregivers define caregiving as a combination of practical/personal care support (42 percent), emotional support (34 percent), and financial support (23 percent).
- 55 percent of caregivers are providing more than six hours a day of care over an expected average of almost 10 years of total care.
- When it comes to getting support for their caregiving responsibilities, most turn to friends (43 percent) before siblings (34 percent) for help with the emotional aspects of support, but rely equally on siblings, other family members and healthcare professionals for practical/personal care support (28 percent).
- Caregivers are spending on average 26 percent of their own monthly budget on caregiving, a percentage that is slightly higher for Millennials (32 percent) versus Gen X (25 percent). They mostly do not seek any support when it comes to financial needs (43 percent). If they do, they will ask family members (22 percent) or siblings (20 percent), rather than friends (13 percent).
Despite their own experience, 72 percent of caregivers said that they have not planned for their own long-term care needs. Moreover, two in three said that they have not spoken about preferences for their care either because they just expect it will be taken care of as it has always been done in their family (37 percent), or because they don't have any expectation that anyone would be responsible for them (30 percent).
Among those who have planned:
- 47 percent increased their savings
- 39 percent purchased long-term care insurance
- 37 percent incorporated long-term care into their financial plan
- 31 percent talked to their financial advisor
The majority (76 percent) of caregivers said that they anticipate their family will provide their care, either their spouse/partner (41 percent), another family member (31 percent) or their children (29 percent).
Caregivers who have or expect to have children themselves said that they assume their children will provide long-term care in terms of:
- Emotional support – 71 percent
- Practical/personal care support – 52 percent
- Financial support – 35 percent, which is even higher for Millennials, among whom 47 percent expect their children will provide financial support
Overall, caregivers who will look to their children for financial support said that they anticipate they will rely on them for an average of 41 percent of their financial support needs.
“There's a real disconnect between perceptions and realities when it comes to caregiving,” noted Mr. Simbro. “With a little foresight and candid conversations, families can avoid the unnecessary stress of decision-making on the fly and can take steps, including working with a trusted professional, to feel confident in the plans they put in place.”
Learn more: Northwestern Mutual.
Victoria Spears
Victoria Prussen Spears is senior vice president of Meyerowitz Communications Inc., a law firm marketing communications consulting company. A graduate of Sarah Lawrence College and Brooklyn Law School, Ms. Spears was an attorney at a leading New York City law firm before joining Meyerowitz Communications. She may be contacted at [email protected].